Let Me Count the Ways
Photo description: Green background with three arms/fists raised in differing skin tones. Graphic says - Self-defense lesson: Ways We’re Told to Stay Safe (and becoming the HERO of your own story!) along with the SheHopes logo and website.
We were thinking recently about all of the ways women and girls are told to keep ourselves safe:
Stay in groups.
Don’t walk alone to your car.
Google/background check person before a date.
Gif description: Woman looking through a magnifying glass, her eye is comically large.
Carry your keys in your had as a weapon.
Don’t run at night.
Change up your commute home.
Gif description: Halle Berry swerving red minivan into another driving lane.
Wear your hair pulled out of your face so you can see.
Don’t wear a ponytail.
Text a screenshot of your date and location to a friend.
Gif description: Woman standing in front of a blue screen, texting on her phone and holding up one finger.
Carry a phone with you at all times.
Don’t look down at your phone when walking.
Get a big dog.
Close your curtains.
Gif description: A woman closing curtains in front of her face.
Watch your drink being poured.
Meet a date in a public place.
Don’t leave your drink unattended.
Carry pepper spray.
Gif description: Roy being sprayed with pepper spray in The Office
Don’t wear headphones/earbuds when you run.
Text a photo of your Über tag to friends.
Check your backseat before getting into your car.
Don’t drink too much.
Vary your jogging route.
Gif description: Phoebe from FRIENDS running awkwardly
Be careful about what you wear.
Carry a firearm.
Don’t live in first floor apartments.
Make sure your doors and windows are locked.
Gif description: Bart Simpson saying, “Memo to self: Lock door”
Avoid wooded areas even in the daylight.
Make eye contact.
Don’t make eye contact.
Gif description: Johnny and Moira Rose from Schitt’$ Creek saying, “DO NOT LOOK THEM IN THE EYE!”
Fight back.
Don’t fight back.
He pulled your hair? That means he likes you!
Gif description: Two girls, one with her arm around the other says, “Oh, well, honey that probably just means that he likes you.” The other says, “Hm. I think I like him, too.”
I was just joking around.
Don’t take things so seriously.
Boys will be boys.
Gif description: A graphic that says “BOYS WILL BE BOYS” but changing it to “BOYS WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE”
The thing that kept coming to mind as we thought through this list is that it is EXHAUSTING for a woman or girl to merely exist in this world. When a woman steps out into her daily life, or is even in what should be the safety of her own home, there is a long list of the things that SHE is responsible for over her own safety.
Gif description: Man long ago in British Parliament unrolling a long list/scroll
The problem is that we can talk about these ways we should keep ourselves safe, we can teach self-defense skills, and we can talk about the startling numbers behind violence against women - but these are RISK REDUCTION and not TRUE PREVENTION.
SheHopes is committed to continue educating and helping with these risk reductions in any way we can - while we wait for men to stand up for true prevention of violence against others. Talk to the trusted men in your life. Tell them your stories. Tell them about the whistles, being followed, the stares, the comments, and more. Talk to your sons about the mental and physical checklist you go through every single day, and ways that you can think of for them to help the women and girls in their lives feel safer.
Gif description: Young woman wearing glasses and blue shirt holds up a trifold full of information and says, “Um, I narrowed it down to a few options.”
How did we do? Did we miss anything? What are the ways that you were taught to keep yourself safe? Let us know in the comments below!
Follow along as we talk more about self-defense skills, how to teach these skills to even small children, healing from past trauma, how we can help each other as sisters. Check our our Instagram and TikTok for videos and more tips!
Thank you for coming along on this journey with us. We couldn’t do it without you - and we are so grateful for each and every member of our SheHopes family!
Here’s to HOPE!