Self-Defense Lesson - Speaking Up
Something that many of us have been trained NOT to do is SPEAK UP.
Gif descriptioni: Gwen Stefani covering her mouth
We have been taught to stay quiet when our instinct tells us that something is not quite right, even if we don't know why.
Gif description: David Rose from Schitt’s Creek saying, “Something seems really sketchy about this.”
Your body is YOUR OWN. It does not belong to anyone else. ONLY YOU.
Gif description: Brandy and Monica singing, “Not yours, but mine.”
If someone is making your body feel uncomfortable - you can tell them. Whether their actions are by accident or on purpose, you gain confidence by standing up for yourself and your body.
Gif description: Lilly Singh in a multi-colored shirt saying, “So…I have to tell you something.”
It can be as simple as saying, "Please don't touch me."
Gif description: A man in a checkered sweater is drinking a glass of wine and saying, “Keep your hands to yourself” in rainbow letters.
Or if the situation continues and you are in danger, you could yell, "NO!"
Gif descriptioni: A woman on a red and blue background yelling “NO!” into a phone.
Here’s what to do:
1) Raise your hands in front of your body.
2) Hold your arms in front of your neck and chest area
3) Spread your fingers apart so you can see through them
4) Place your non-dominant hand out a little ways out front and your dominant hand closer to yourself.
Gif description: Two women wearing dark shirts holding their hands up in a ready position to show others around them to not come any closer.
This is to show those around you that THIS is your space. Do not come any closer.
Gif description: A woman wearing a green shirt and large hoop earrings making a circle with her index fingers and saying, “Get out of my bubble”
Try it with us! Hold your hands up just like we showed you.
On the count of three, we're going to say, "Please don't touch me."
Gif description: Purple back ground with a white number 1, and an orange cartoon character dancing and waving its arms in the air.
Gif description: Pink background with a green number 2 with eyes.
Gif description: Kate McKinnon from SNL holding a silver briefcase with the number 3 on it.
PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ME.
Excellent!
Now let’s try saying NO together.
Keep your hands up!
Gif description: A young woman with her hands up
On the count of three, we’re going to yell, “NO!”
Gif description: A blonde woman from Schitt’s Creek saying, “1, 2, 3 GO!”
NO!
Gif description: Kristin Wiig yelling, “Nooooooooooo”
It’s important for us to get comfy with saying the word NO. And we do have to LEARN it, especially when someone is making us feel uncomfortable.
We have gone through years, decades, and lifetimes of being conditioned to always be polite “good girls”.
Gif description: A woman in a car saying, “I’m trying to be a good girl.”
When we start practicing using the word NO, it’s like exercising muscles we never knew we had. It’s awkward, silly, seems unnecessary, and it’s easy to feel like giving up.
Keep going. Continue practicing. Keep practicing standing up for yourself - even if it’s in bathroom mirror.
You’ll see that it becomes easier each time you flex the SPEAKING UP muscles. We promise!
Gif description: A black and white gif of a woman saying, “You touch me and you won’t live ‘til morning.”