Period Anthology: You Are Not Alone
Today we are announcing an exciting new series here at SheHopes! One of our team members has a big heart for helping girls who are struggling with their periods - not being able to go to school, not having underwear, or feeling alone. That’s where her idea for getting women and girls together to share about our own periods came up - so we can let our sisters around the world know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Today we are hearing from our friend Jenny Helms. Thank you, Jenny, for kicking off this series!
To share your own story, email us at: Ginger@SheHopes.org or click HERE.
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Before I ever got my period, many girls in my class had already started talking about it. In fact, many framed it as if it were superior to have it sooner than the other girls. I felt that way initially too, I thought it was some magic thing that I was missing out on or “too immature” to have if I didn’t have it. Well, as my heart so desired and fate would have it, my period did come earlier than expected. About 2-3 years prior to my other 3 sisters. Shortly after having it, my opinion quickly changed. The first day I got it I was in 6th grade in class with my conventionally attractive male 6th grade teacher (indeed, a couple of the girls in my grade had “hit on” my teacher or asked him out). Luckily, I didn’t see him that way but his “maleness” and attractiveness didn’t make it any easier on me when I had to tell him I had started. At first, I tried to be subtle asking him if I could go to the nurse, as he awkwardly asked me to come to him in front of the class while asking my question. He looked at me confused and asked, “Why do you need to go to the nurse, you JUST went to the bathroom?...” I quickly responded, “Exactly…” in a “please don’t make me spell this out” sort of way. Luckily, he took the hint. I quickly went to the nurse who gave me the hugest pad that I have still ever seen to this day. Fortunately, the style those days was baggy pants and I was wearing black baggy pants.
I’m very fortunate that I have three older sisters with wisdom and supplies to help me early on, but it was really awkward and hard for me to use tampons at first. I felt too weird sharing with people that “I couldn't figure it out.” In fact, I “couldn’t figure it out” for an entire year or so. I can’t exactly remember the exact amount of time but it was at LEAST a year. If my friends offered me a tampon I would go to the bathroom and pretend I was putting it in, while secretly just using toilet paper instead as a make-shift pad. I did eventually learn how to use it after having a super awkward conversation with one of my older sisters, and it still wasn’t comfortable for a while. I kept trying because I hated the diaper-y feel of pads and I had extremely heavy periods some days, so sitting in them was awful-feeling. I also had very bad cramps, and was even diagnosed with PMDD at one point which is fancy medical jargon for, “I have really bad period symptoms, major mood swings, and lots of pain around my periods.”
Later in life, my period symptoms became better when I had a healthier lifestyle. They are still heavier than most of my peers, and I give myself A LOT of grace for mood swings, anxiety, and angst around my period bc they are likely different things coming up with more intensity than normal. I have a rule for giving credit to those emotions, but also giving it some time to think about after my period hormones have regulated a bit.
I wish my younger self knew that it was okay to not wear tampons and that I didn’t have to be ashamed. That it wasn’t my fault my periods were so bad and to track them better so I could understand my mood swings and prepare physically for the pain and heavy “flow”. That changing my nutrition and heating pads/baths were so helpful. That it’s okay to have a different experience of your period or ways of coping with it. AND to not hate the girls (cough, cough some of my closest friends) who had lighter, less painful periods and had a hard time understanding why mine were so bad. We are all in this together.
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A big THANK YOU to Jenny Helms for sharing her story with us! Jenny is the owner and founder of Soma Therapy in Wichita, Kansas where she is a LMFT. Her practice is exclusively devoted to treating eating disorders and healing trauma. Jenny is also a Board Member for SheHopes and has been a huge part in helping our sisters around the world know that there can be healing after trauma, they are loved, and they are not alone.